The “Why”, The Cornerstone There are a lot of ways to do homeschool. There are also different experiences that come with it. Oftentimes, it’s fun and exciting. But there are also times when it’s stressful and challenging. This is why … Continue reading
Philippines President Favors Same Sex Marriage? The President of the Philippines, President Rodrigo Roa Duterte recently showed support to #samesexmarriage in the Philippines. This is what he expressed few days ago at the 7th LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) … Continue reading
Broken Pieces Have you ever reached rock bottom? Where it feels like there’s no hope. You have been deserted and left alone. And there is no where to go? We did. Jay and I… When we were in Metro Davao … Continue reading
Many women pride themselves as a corporate star. The “working woman”, go-getter and celebrated persona in offices and the working world. A lot of women’s rights advocates are into women empowerment and equality. And these are all good. I have … Continue reading
The Holy Spirit I know
“Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message (word) of wisdom, to another the message (word) of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits (discernment), to another the ability to speak in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and He gives them to each man, just as He determines.” – 1 Corinthians 12:7
I was reading this passage this morning and I was taken back to my revival experience during my childhood.
Thirty plus years ago, my parents were Pastors of a little Assemblies of God church in Lapaz, Bayabas, Surigao del Sur and all of these works of the Holy Ghost were present in that small congregation.
When my parents took over, the church had a lot of issues. Many lived in hurt. No one wanted to go back to church even after they talked to many of them and discussed about healing and reconciliation. It was a very difficult start. On top of that, my dad got sick with hepatitis B and it made it impossible to see God restore this house.
But instead of giving up, my parents sought God deeper. My dad prayed and fasted for weeks. Intercessors pray almost all day everyday. And after a few months, we started seeing God move.
- There were tongues and interpretation every Sunday.
- There were words of wisdom and words of knowledge.
- There were prophecy and the spirit of discernment manifested.
- There was healing (my dad was healed himself).
- There was miraculous powers.
- I can recall a homosexual (which was very rare those days) giving his life to Jesus. There were confrontations of the works of the devil (casting our demons)…
- There were dreams and visions…
The church grew little by little each month. People were united and generous. The appetite for evangelism and discipleship grew that church members weren’t told to do it nor an event was organized, it was out of people’s burning hearts for the lost and genuine compassion. There was an amazing awareness of God and His favor was upon His people.
One special memory I had was when God came down in a cloud one Sunday morning and touched as all. Adults and kids alike. I was 8 years old, but I was still recall everything that time vividly. It was the first time that God became very personal to me. He wasn’t the God in the Bible stories my mom told me about anymore. He was tangible and real that He came into my heart and become my Lord and Savior.
This is why no matter how any times I was confronted with the modern gospel brining the idea that His move is not anymore present today because it was left with the first disciples, it doesn’t hold true in my heart. Because I have personally seen him moved. I am a witness of His power and reality. 1 Corinthians 12:7 wasn’t just a dead scroll to me. I have seen it alive and active changing lives and bring people closer to the heart of God.
Holy Spirit, Where are You?
Thirty years after however, His move started to diminish… The church is more “self-gratifying” than “God-glorifying”. It was more about the self and not about His Lordship. And yes, I believe in emotional healing, etc. But I also wonder why church history doesn’t record much of this associated with revival. It was always seeking God wholeheartedly that led them to His supernatural takeovers that changed the world.
Can this be the reason why we rarely see 1 Corinthians 12:7 at work today? Like come to think of it, can you name one church at the top of your mind right now that’s moving in these gifts? Bethel Church is one for me. But how about here in the Philippines? Can you give one? A church that prophesying, healing, working in miraculous powers, tongues and interpretation, words of wisdom and knowledge, and spirit of discernment? Where is it? Why do we RARELY see these today?
Is it because we are more “self-gratifying” than “God-glorifying”?
- We focus more on our #OOTDs than the condition of our hearts.
- We are all about “good worship” than His presence.
- We are for ending on time than receiving from heaven.
- Evangelisms, crusades and gatherings are more about numbers than the voice of heaven.
What a dreadful generation we have become! We gather in His name but do we really what Him there? Has church become more of a duty than a delight? If these aren’t true then why aren’t we seeing the Holy Spirit at work in our midst today? Fruits tell our roots right? Thus where are the prophesying, healing, working in miraculous powers, tongues and interpretation, words of wisdom and knowledge, and spirit of discernment?
Can you lead me to one in your city?
The Jesus Revolution In October 27, 2001, more than a month after the catastrophic 9/11 terrorism attack, the Philippines received a seed. It was a prophetic word from Cindy Jacobs given to Pastors Jerome and Annabelle Ocampo. This is the prophecy … Continue reading
God is alive and His power is Real
I am realizing that the reason why I was solemn and down for weeks when I was Face to Face with Depression is because all the things that I learned and experienced before is not working right now. You see I grew up in a Christian home. My parents raised me in a Pentecostal environment. Healing and miracles were a part of my daily life.
- We just repent and receive healing when we’re sick and we wake up all healed.
- We pray for new clothes every school recognition day and God always provide.
- We would pray for provision for any type of need and He always there without fail.
I lived a compromised (in short sinful) life during my high school and college days but when I finally surrendered my whole life to God when I was 23 years old, there was no turning back. I pursued healing and I have seen almost all types of healing and miracles under the sun. May it be through me or through other His Mission family members.
- I led at least 4 missions trips with massive signs and wonders.
- Blinds see.
- Deaf hear.
- Dead were raised.
- Demons were cast out.
- Dark clouds would obey and go so we can continue with our crusade.
- The sick were healed.
- The lost were found.
- The prodigals came back.
- Provision came.
- There was even a season when we would literally chase the demon-possessed so they can be freed in Jesus name.
For the past 35 years of life, I seen and can prove that the Bible is alive and nothing is impossible through the Blood of the Lamb. I have personally witness His reality. I studied and stay in Germany for 7 months without spending any from my own pocket. I personally heard His audible voice. He gave us twins even if we don’t have any genetic history. Every season of my life, He has proven His power.
Until my Husband got sick…
Where are You Lord?
I thought I had it all figured out.
That I just need to pray and fast. That I just need to confess. That I just need to believe. That I just need to declare. I just need to speak forth His word. I just need to be grateful and testify…
These are all proven methods. Even the Generals do this. I have studied their lives. I have watched their videos, listened to their podcasts and wrote all healing and miracle scripture verses.
But nothing happened…
Yes we would have breakthrough here and there but the main issue is still there. One day, it’s all good then all of a sudden, it’ll crash. We have been in this for 4 months now. We are so desperate of His move, but it seems like He’s far.
He did not completely left us because His provision through other people is there. But how about the healing we’ve seen before? Where is the miracle that we daringly need? We have seen it all before, where it is now?
There are even times when we feel like we’re in our little tribulation moments. That His grace is lifted. That we feel alone. That we feel like He’s not there despite our frantic cries. That we are left with our choice to still believe despite the lost of emotions and what’s tangible.
I guess real faith is not really based on anything in your experience, learning nor feelings but solely holding on to His words believing that He is always good no matter what.
Life through Death
A seed needs to completely die before it can live a new. I am understanding that God is taking us deeper. He is revealing Himself a new. We may have been blind-folded with the past experiences that we put Him in a box. He needs to break the old wineskin so He can pour out new oil.
I have no doubt that my husband will live. Untimely death is just against His nature and heart. We still believe in healing and miracle. We still believe in this God that we serve. We still believe in Jesus!
But the how and when is something we don’t have any idea. God is taking us in this new wave of obedience, That we believe no matter what the situation is.
Because He is never an “I was” or an “I will”. He is the “I am” (present tense). Everyday is an adventure where He leads and we obey in love.
Excited what this adventure unfold…
Depression is a real demon. It comes cunningly and swift in times misery. It is a dangerous evil spirit that can overtake when one is not careful. Sharing this simple face to face experience with this devil to expose its works and show those under it how to be free in Jesus name.
I got a little depressed
Many of you know that our family is going through challenging times right now. In a previous blog, I shared with you the emotions I have to undergo as a wife whose Husband is battling sickness.
It has been 4 months since this has all started. And somehow in someway, the weight of this all took a toll on me…
Maybe it started with our main Nephrologist said that our only option now is just a kidney transplant. Maybe it came in when I had sleepless nights watching Jay endure a week of fever, weakness, chills, edema and shortness of breathing… I don’t know when it all came to place but I was face to face with depression. I was on the brink of giving in and allowing it to take me to the river of bitterness and disgust.
- I was always crying.
- I did not want to call for help.
- I got tired of asking people’s support: praying, provision.
- I did not want to eat.
- I did not want to see anyone.
- I just wanted to be alone.
- I did not care what people think.
- I did not feel like praying nor believing anymore.
It was both awful and tragic to be in. The good thing about it was that I was aware as it was all happening. I was in control. I did not let it in. Thus, before it can overtake me, I opened myself to people for accountability.
Depression’s Entry Points
Depression is real and many people go through this everyday. It comes in everyone’s door when one is not careful. Thus it is important that one will not allow oneself to be under stress, unrest and unstable foundations with God. In my case, I was under so much:
- Stress – because this has been going on for 4 months and it seems like we’re at the end of the line.
- Unrest – because we need a lot of money for Jay’s medications, dialysis and other family expenses every week. I had to work double time while managing the home, kids, schedules, etc.
- Unstable foundations with God – because what worked in my walk with God where I was seeing a lot of healing and miracles is not happening right now. I have to reestablish new foundations with the Lord.
How to Beat Depression
Freedom from depression is at hand. The power of God is available to anyone who calls on His name. But the person who’s experiencing it needs to make a decision that he or she doesn’t want it in his/her life.
Here are the steps I took:
- Cry it out – Don’t be hypocrite and religious in the eyes of God. Be real. Cry our your frustrations, questions, doubts but always make it a point to still TRUST Him no matter what. David Himself would tell God in his Psalms (Psalm 7; Psalm 27; Psalm 31; Psalm 34; Psalm 52), “Don’t turn Your ear away from me, O God… Don’t hide Your face when I’m distressed.” Cry your heart it. He listens, He understands…
- Eat and sleep – Yes as simple as that. Since your heart is mostly close for counsel during these times, just rest. Eat your favorite food (don’t pig out). Sleep… A lot. A rejuvenated body is a good cure for the wounded soul.Elijah did the same when he was in a lot of frustrations and fear. All his powerful experiences with God were all forgotten. He was so focused on his situation that he just hid himself under a broom tree. He was amiss.And in that time, the Lord did not condemn him. He send His angels instead to tend on Elijah. All Elijah did was eat “chiffon cakes” and snore his stress away.
- Decide to get help – Even if you don’t feel like it, you need it. Trust me… The moment I opened up to people, the more I started to process what I was going through and it helped me resolve the deeper issues in my heart. It made me become ready to receive from God again.
I appreciate the people who went out of their way in helping me press through.
Thank you to my Husband for His thoughts of me. Buying me the food that I like. Taking me to a massage. Spending time with me. It helped me a lot.
Thank you Ate Esther Revote for checking on us via text. I cried the whole time that afternoon. It meant a lot Te. Thanks for always giving your life to people no matter what circumstances you’re in. Love you Te.
Thank you to our dear Homegroup for the surprise serenade with food, balloons and flowers. For praying, listening and loving us this much. Thank you for being our family who lifts us up when we’re tired and weary. We love you all so much.
Depression is a real devil. But it is nothing in the light of God love through the embrace of His people.
Be there for someone today! It matters.
A People Destined to His Glory There’s no doubt that revival and reformation is coming to the Philippines. It is our call and destiny. It is an inheritance that was imprinted in our race from the beginning of time. It … Continue reading
It happened so fast. It came out of nowhere and we did not even have the chance to brace ourselves to it. “Chronic Kidney Disease” clearly came as a thief in the night…
The Death Sentence
We just noticed Jay getting weak and pale. We thought it was just because he worked night shift. We just actually went in for a check up to get a medical certificate so he can rest more but that decision led us to the valley of the shadows of death. Before we knew it, we were in a hospital emergency room with six specialists telling us that he needed emergency dialysis. Tests showed that his creatinine level is very high. The normal count for an adult male is 100 but his’ was 1588. The doctors said he will have at least 3 dialysis a week for the rest of his life. That only a kidney transplant will prolong his life…
Imagine the trauma… My husband is in his prime and our kids are still young. I couldn’t stop crying the first night we were in the hospital. Thoughts of death and being a widow at an early age flooded me. Fear gripped my heart on how will I raise my kids alone if Jay dies. My heart bled on the possibility of losing the love of my life this early.
I had all these thoughts agonizing my being but as the same time I had to be strong for Jay and those who love us. Thus, I rarely shed tears. Despite the emotional wreck inside, I had to push it aside and face the dilemma face on.
It was only the hope we have in Christ that held us altogether.
When you’re young and full on dreams, and the doctors will give your spouse that medical impression, your world will just crumble down. No amount of Christian maturity, training and healing experience can pacify the pain and fear of the unknown when you’re in that type of situation.
The devils are so real. We can literally feel their presence in the room. Especially after the doctors would come and tell you how your husband’s body is “dying” and needed immediate attention. It was a haunting feeling surpassing our faith. Despite being Christians and ministers for years, we were shaken. We had to hold on to Hope and believe despite the torment we were feeling inside.
The battle to stay in His shalom was real. We had to fight and establish ourselves in His word. We had to reflect on God’s destiny and call in our lives. We had to recall on the times He spoke over us through personal prophecy, dreams and visions. We had to remind ourselves on His love. We had to constantly create an atmosphere on hope. We had to fight. We had to believe.
We did this through these concrete actions:
- Playing worship songs all day and night
- Reading faith books like God’s Generals
- Meditating His truths in the Bible
- Watching faith preaching videos online: David Hogan, Bill Johnson
- Encouraging each other by faith by talking revelations and what God spoke to each other
- Praying every time an emotional or physical attack happens
- Sharing to others burdens to pray for
- Sharing to others testimonies of His goodness in the process
Jesus is Real
Yes our years in church and ministry told us that God is love and that He will never leave us and forsake us. But one will never know the reality of these truths until that person gets to apply them.
Being in that situation ourselves, we have proven that Jesus is real! His power is real. His blood works. The finish work of the cross gives life.
We faced the temptation of giving up countless of times. It was good when people are around to pray and encourage us; the faith level is high. But where we’re alone, demons would start creeping in again to shake your stability in the Lord. The lies would start again. One should really fight for that Peace to live in it no matter what.
It was in these moments however that we have proven God’s power. Because to be honest, we found ourselves failing a couple of times. It is only of His grace that we made it this far. He alone deserves all the glory and honor.
Night and Day
After two months, 2 hospitals, countless tests, and more than 10 doctors, God showed Himself strong! With all of our friends praying around the world, intercessions, prophecies and edifying scriptures, God has shown His favor and we have finally turned the corner of Hope:
- There was a change in the doctors impression. Before the impression was “Anemia secondary to Chronic Kidney Disease” and recently it was changed to “Acute Kidney Injury secondary to rapidly progressive Glomerulonephritis”.
- The last Nephrologist said that his kidneys shrank. Our recent Nephrologist said, both are in normal size. It’s just inflamed.
- Most of the CKD patients have constant or growing creatinine count even after doing dialysis sessions. Jay’s count is decreasing! It has gone from 1588 to 733 after 7 sessions.
- The Lord has provided everything that we’re able to pay hospital bills, treatments, supplements, house bills, and medications. Money came from friends and even those we don’t have previous relationships. People prayed both here and abroad. Charity events were made. Offerings were given. Tears were shed. All of which we’re very grateful of. This edified us knowing that we have a big family behind our back. The feeling is overwhelming. We are constantly brought to tears when we see His goodness in our lives in this situation.
What the devil schemed as hell turned out to be a bright display of His power in and through our lives.
Aside from learning that His power is manifested not because of what we do but because of who He is, we also learned these practical steps that we’ve like to share with you so you too can learn from this situation.
- Prioritize health. Jay’s lifestyle growing up wasn’t wise. He ate mostly processed foods (hotdogs, canned goods, chips) and loved vinegar and sour fruits. He also started staying up late at night at a young age. This all the more worsen when he worked night shift for years. He did not drink as much water as he needed but focused more on coffee and soda.So eat healthy and organic food. Sleep at least 8 hours a day at night. This is the time when our immune system can rebuild and fight for our body. Exercise and drink lots of water too!
- Limit fitness supplements intake. Jay remembered that few years back, he feasted on protein and creatinine drinks for fast muscle building.
- Take care of insurances. We stopped paying our health care, and other insurances because we did not feel like we needed it. Because of that mistake, we paid huge amounts of hospital bills. Thank God for His grace and provision.
- Treasure moments. Life is but a mist. Make sure you value relationships around you all the time.
- Choose a life with Jesus now. Being saved gave us an assurance that no matter what will happen, we will spend eternity with Jesus. But whether that time comes soon or not, we are also secure that He will take care of us in whatever situation we face. He is there to provide, heal and strengthen. He will never leave and forsake. He is there to always guide, even in the valley of the shadows of death!
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Know Jesus today. Know Him intimately… 🙂 ❤