The Life of Living Dreams
Yesterday, my husband sent me this long private message in Facebook as he noticed that I am not dreaming BIG anymore. Here’s what he said:
“Beb? I want you to realize something… You are a lot of things… But “Just a girl from the province of Surigao” is not one of them… You are meant for so much more… I’m sorry if through our married life I have allowed you to believe otherwise and to lose the value that you held your self up to before. Sorry if I allowed you to slowly forget your dreams and allowed you to focus on the daily needs and worries… Today, please remember that you are many things… You are so much more than you think you are… From the day you were born, you have been planned for something great… When I asked you to be President or Mayor, it wasn’t a joke… I honestly want you to be. I honestly want you to be who you are meant to be… I take responsibility if you have chosen to forget the big things you are meant to be because of responsibilities… My vow to you in our wedding day was that I’d be the man that propels you to the fullest of your capability… You are many things… You are a fresh breath of air to a lot of people. you are the eyes that sees, you are the voice that this nation needs to hear. you are the woman that will lead this generation and this nation… PLEASE NEVER FORGET… I love you dearly and very much… I am very proud of you!”
The conversation still went further after this with lots of encouragements and realizations.
Today during my prayer time, I realized that somewhere along the way of all these new battles and seasons, I stopped dreaming. I used to be very reckless when it comes to faith. Nothing is impossible. God can do all. He created the universe and can do anything He pleases. I used to not limit Him and walked my life just according to His reality.
I can still recall the times when I went to Germany with nothing at all. It was days before my scheduled trip for my Discipleship Training School (DTS) there under Youth With a Mission (YWAM). I was in the shower and was very much overwhelmed because it was just 10 ten before the flight and I don’t have the airfare ticket (P60,000). All I had was the ticket to Manila and nothing at all from Manila to Germany and back. We were not even sure if our VISA will be approved at that time.
But something ticked in my spiritual being and I just BELIEVED. I said to the circumstances that God is the God of embassies, airplane companies and banks. If He will not provide, He will supernaturally bring me there! I started shifting my whole schedule into that faith and packed! I texted everyone goodbye and lived out that belief.
On the day of my flight to Manila, Kuya Joel Bringas (YWAM Leader and a spiritual father to me and our family) texted me to come to their house and told me someone gave money for my fare! We went to the embassy and our VISA were approved. God ushered us after to a good ticketing office just few blocks away from the embassy that we were able to present a round-trip ticket when we claimed the VISA. We arrived in Germany just on time of all the other students’ arrival.
And not just that, while I was in Germany for 7 months, He did not only provide my needs, school fees but also allowed me to see signs and wonders. I walked in the gift of prophecy like never before in my life. I dreamed dreams that would happen the next few weeks. He even spoke to me AUDIBLY. I walked with Him intimately and nothing was impossible!
A Sick Heart
But somehow along the way, I stopped dreaming. I still believed but limit Him according to my standards. I put Him in a box. I even started comparing my life with other people…
Was it because of the busyness in life?
Was it the monotony of unchallenged religion?
Was it CKD and motherhood?
It can be all, it can be one… Nonetheless, one thing is true. I allowed the thorns of life to choke the Life out of me (Matthew 13). My heart is sick as I wasn’t living in the BIG DREAMS of my heart that would challenge status quo anymore.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. – Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)
Dream Ridiculous Dreams
It’s time to dream BIG again… I grasped that not having one is lack of faith. It is making God small and worshipping a graven image. He is the one and only GOD. He is beyond what we can think or imagine. He is limitless. He can do anything. And He is also the Father of the dreams of our hearts.
Enough of playing small, we are children of God. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed (Romans 8:19). It’s time to dream BIG not just for the exploits of our hearts but because living in our dreams is the life we owe to the people around us and His creation. We are called to bring His life in all realms of influence He placed us.
So what are the dreams of my heart right now? I dream that…
- Jay will be supernaturally healed.
- FVA will be number in the world funding His Kingdom in Southeast Asia.
- Our family will be used for His glory worldwide.
- That I will prophesy again…
One may say, these are ridiculous and outrageous dreams! I say, Noah, Moses, David, Rahab, Joshua, Peter, Paul, Stephen to name a few were also CRAZY in believing the intuitions of their hearts. But history tell us that because they did, they will able to save themselves, their family and a generation.
BIG DREAMS doesn’t challenge a BIG GOD, it reveals Him for who He truly is.