I miss the times when I can pray for hours in a day without the pressure to attend to anything in life but just be in His presence. I miss the times when I can fast for more than a month. I miss the times when I can just cut my long hair in conviction that it was taking so much attention in life than my devotion for Jesus. I miss the times when I don’t care about status, education and what people think of me. I miss the times when I just focused on nothing and no one else but the Love of my life – Jesus Christ. Those were the times when I knew my focus was only to love God fully and to give Him every bit of me.
Of course I know life has its seasons. It was my season just for Jesus. Now I have the family I am in love with. It’s my joy to serve and take care of them as an outflow of His life in us. I have a call thus I need to equip myself and finish my doctorate… be physically fit and care for everyone God has placed in my life. He promoted and has given me a field of influence I am accountable for. That season was for a time being to prepare me for this season, and this season for the next…
But things in this “life” (worldly) can also get tricky. It can be cunning that it sucks the life (in God) out of you. One must really need the guidance of the Holy Spirit to have the balance of it all.
Last week I got so busy preparing for the twins’ dedication this March 10th. It’s something I needed to do as a mom. There was the venue, the cake, the dessert, the menu, the invites, the guests list, the theme colour, the shoes, the clothes… And oh! I still need to get my nails done… Need to also colour my hair, need to go to that wax and eye lashes extension places… Blah… blah… blah… There were so much in the list and I did not realise it was taking my time away from my kids, from my Hubby and most of all from God.
“I’m sorry Bubbas, Mommy will be back in an hour ok? You need to take your naps…”
Kisses… then off I go to my to do’s.
But more were still being added. I also need to write, go to the Badjao community, need to go to school. And our projects by the way, I need to budget well because we will need this and that… and this and that… The list just keeps on coming! These on top of house chores, working online, cooking, etc. I was doing well but “life” was already killing my life. I am not just meant for that. So I and cried and prayed, “Lord, please save me from this trap called ‘life!”
I have to fix myself to what’s important in life. In my case now, that would be:
- My relationship with Jesus – He is my life and my all.
My family – I love my Husband. He’s my best friend and my love. Our kids are a joy in my heart. It is an air to my soul to offer my life to them.
My call – I was born for revival and for revival I will die.
Everything else that does not spell anything in eternity should not be given any sweat at all! I saw that if allowed the world will rule over our lives. It will show us what we should get next and what we should have after… It’s so tricky! I had to pause, decide and plan how I can simply and integrate things to major the majors and minor the minors.
I have a call. I desire for revival in the Philippines. Thus I will live a life worthy of the calling. I am meant for heaven. This life in but a practice to the real one that will last forever. I need to set my eyes on the things above.
Yes I will continue to work, study and be excellent with all the responsibilities I have. But I will not allow myself to be pulled to what’s not needed anymore. For life should be a highway to our destinies. Those who took the detour however are trapped. Many, without ever knowing it…
How about you? What are the top 3 priorities you have in life? Do all of these have eternal value? Pause. Decide. Plan.