David Miller — This is the name of the first baby I changed diaper and gave bath (well, it was more like a quick 5-second dip). I did not have any baby sitting experience prior from these two instances. My brother and I were only a year and few months apart and our relatives were far since we were always moving as a ministering family growing up, so I really did not have knowledge how to take care of babies.
My weird philosophy however was if dogs know how to do it, I will have the instinct how to be a mom when my time comes. I am very fond of dogs and I have seen them gave birth several times. I even experienced pulling a puppy from a dog’s you know once! They just know what to do. So I got the courage and assurance back then that when my time comes, I will have the inner voice to guide me.
Conveniently, this principle worked for me the moment we had the twins! On their second day at home, our midwife friend Michelle already left. We did not ask my mom, mother-in-law or friends to help so we get adjusted on our own so we were left to do parenting on our own we best way we knew it. From bath, to feeding, etc. we somehow managed to find our way around! Now that the twins are 7 months old, I still work online, I have a clean and neat home (most of the time, hehe), I am cooking for Hubby and doing all of the household chores (except laundry and mopping floors)… PLUS I am finishing my doctorate, writing books and just recently started some gardening! These are all on top of taking care of the twins. And my relationship with God? Awesome! How am I able to balance it all? Here are some tips!
- I clean the bathroom after each shower. While I’m in the shower, the kids are asleep, I may be boiling/cooking something. When the kids are awake I work, watch news, do gardening, fold clothes or do things that will allow me to see their activities. I am doing at least 2 things at the same time. 🙂
2. Doing things one step ahead.
- While the kids are asleep, I am already preparing their meals so when they wake up I’m not a headless chicken panicking around to ease them when their hungry. I keep a list of my to do’s. I plan what will be for Hubby’s breakfast, lunch and dinner and prepare them in advance (esp. when there is defrosting involved). When I am sweeping floor not but my mind is already thinking that I need to sterilize toys after.
3. Integrate Jesus in all you do!
- Aside from our family Monday Jesus time and our Sabbath every Saturday, the boys and I pray before they eat and take a bath. These are the times I personally speak blessing over them and their destinies. We also have worship time together. We sing “God is good to me” or “I wanna jump, jump…” to also exercise some gross motor skills. I show them the actions and they each get to do it with me guiding of course. Guess what they pull my hand now in the “me” part pointing towards them heart. 🙂 Love it. I sometimes read them some Psalms (it’s actually more for me most of the time) depending on their attention span. These kids are going with Jesus in their lives.
- I talk to God when I’m cleaning, washing dishes, etc. And I used the “hele” (singing and rocking the baby to sleep) time to worship Jesus… I end up crying and refreshed while they end up asleep! 🙂
- I make sure I read even just one chapter or verse a day so my spirit has something to chew on. I meditate His revelations when I’m alone.
To be a first time mom can be challenging. Yes, there is the internet and pediatrician now but the challenge to do everything and still be intimate with God like when we were single is an uphill war. I was able to make mine a little easier because I seek the Helper’s help instead of doing it on my own. I have heard crazy stories before I got married and instead of fear and falling into the same insanity, I sought wisdom. It may have also helped that I married when I was ready. I was able to see examples and learned lessons.
Of course, not all days are perfect. There are days that I feel sick and would need help from in-laws. I am also blessed to have a husband who blesses me with daily naps, enough sleep at night, running errands and more. But the bottom line of the story is motherhood can be tough. Unless you are in the perfect time to embrace it then every bit of it turns into joy. And this is impossible to achieve without the hand of God.